fests and bangs and fatigue, oh my
May. 16th, 2015 03:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
darkrosaleenI just realized I never posted my shipswap 2015 fics. My gift was Not So Weak That I'm Not Strong, a lovely Nat-centric Steve/Sam/Natatasha fic with lots of good whump.
I wrote who's gonna ride your wild horses, as well as nocturnal admissions which is an outtake from "wild horses." Both are Gansey/Ronan with strong Ronan/Declan elements.
I'm not exactly happy with these two fics. I was really excited to getlinndechir as a recipient, and her letter gave me lots of great ideas, but by the time I actually sat down to write I was sick and fatigued and worn out from work and fandom drama. Gansey/Ronan/Declan is such a thorny, complicated relationship that it needed at least ten thousand words to do it justice. I didn't want to make it OOC by forcing the characters to get along, so I decided to make it more vignette-y and less structured. Looking at the final product, I think I wrote out just the iddy porn bits of the 10K fic that exists in my head (isis read my first draft and told me it needed better transition between scenes, and I...added four more orgasms. Oops.) Luckily, my recipient's id matches mine and she left me three (!) incredible gushing comments, which is all that matters. I do really like the last scene, and Ronan seeking out sex whenever he misses his brother is scarily plausible (Ronan Lynch is a needy, touch-starved cuddlebunny and no one can ever convince me otherwise).
Speaking of headcanons: there are a few moments in these fics where I went with hotness over characterization, but the only one that really bugs me is that I had Ronan make a lot of noise during sex. I think he loves overwhelming sensations, but he's so thoroughly sublimated and repressed his desires that I can't see him letting go like that (he also grew up with brothers, which would have the opposite of the effect it does in my incest fantasies). I deliberately wrote Ronan in The Sword and the Shield making almost no noise, except when he's literally getting sliced open with a knife. Headcanon is a funny thing.
Now I'm starting to work on my fic for the tumblr Raven Cycle big bang. The idea came to me when I was writing The Washerwoman, which is exactly as short as it needed to be but left me wanting more. More suicidal Ronan, more Gansey being dead and tragic and beautiful, more creepygross death mythology. I also wanted to see what Gansey's demise would do to Blue and Adam, and reached the conclusion that while Blue would throw herself into cleaning up and handling mundane details and taking care of less stable parties, Adam would need to Fix It. And that's where my "the gang resurrects Gansey with dark magic" plot was born.
Adam's one of those characters I never write because I love him too much. While I'm just meh on the Ronan/Adam relationship in the books, so much of the fic and meta makes me want to snatch Adam away and protect him from those horrible fans who don't understaaaand him. I'm way overinvested in Adam getting what he wants, because what he wants is what I want (independence, respect, control, autonomy, choices, to be in charge of his own life, to be understood, to stop hurting himself and others, to have someone see him for who he really is and like what they see).
It'll be a lot of fun to push him to his worst extreme, although I'm a little worried about putting so much of my psyche out there for the tumblr fandom to deem problematic (I have never cared about being deemed problematic, but I'm already oversensitive about Adam).
The Ronan/Adam branch of the OT5 will be a challenge, but BLLB gave me an aesthetic appreciation for their relationship (horror movie twins ♥) and they are my two favorite characters. Noah will also be a challenge, doubly so because he's dealing with the fallout of being magicified. But I'm really looking forward to Blue/Adam, and Adam being a sexy beast, and the three of them banding together over their love for Gansey. And creepy death magic.
I wrote who's gonna ride your wild horses, as well as nocturnal admissions which is an outtake from "wild horses." Both are Gansey/Ronan with strong Ronan/Declan elements.
I'm not exactly happy with these two fics. I was really excited to get
linndechir as a recipient, and her letter gave me lots of great ideas, but by the time I actually sat down to write I was sick and fatigued and worn out from work and fandom drama. Gansey/Ronan/Declan is such a thorny, complicated relationship that it needed at least ten thousand words to do it justice. I didn't want to make it OOC by forcing the characters to get along, so I decided to make it more vignette-y and less structured. Looking at the final product, I think I wrote out just the iddy porn bits of the 10K fic that exists in my head (isis read my first draft and told me it needed better transition between scenes, and I...added four more orgasms. Oops.) Luckily, my recipient's id matches mine and she left me three (!) incredible gushing comments, which is all that matters. I do really like the last scene, and Ronan seeking out sex whenever he misses his brother is scarily plausible (Ronan Lynch is a needy, touch-starved cuddlebunny and no one can ever convince me otherwise).Speaking of headcanons: there are a few moments in these fics where I went with hotness over characterization, but the only one that really bugs me is that I had Ronan make a lot of noise during sex. I think he loves overwhelming sensations, but he's so thoroughly sublimated and repressed his desires that I can't see him letting go like that (he also grew up with brothers, which would have the opposite of the effect it does in my incest fantasies). I deliberately wrote Ronan in The Sword and the Shield making almost no noise, except when he's literally getting sliced open with a knife. Headcanon is a funny thing.
Now I'm starting to work on my fic for the tumblr Raven Cycle big bang. The idea came to me when I was writing The Washerwoman, which is exactly as short as it needed to be but left me wanting more. More suicidal Ronan, more Gansey being dead and tragic and beautiful, more creepygross death mythology. I also wanted to see what Gansey's demise would do to Blue and Adam, and reached the conclusion that while Blue would throw herself into cleaning up and handling mundane details and taking care of less stable parties, Adam would need to Fix It. And that's where my "the gang resurrects Gansey with dark magic" plot was born.
Adam's one of those characters I never write because I love him too much. While I'm just meh on the Ronan/Adam relationship in the books, so much of the fic and meta makes me want to snatch Adam away and protect him from those horrible fans who don't understaaaand him. I'm way overinvested in Adam getting what he wants, because what he wants is what I want (independence, respect, control, autonomy, choices, to be in charge of his own life, to be understood, to stop hurting himself and others, to have someone see him for who he really is and like what they see).
It'll be a lot of fun to push him to his worst extreme, although I'm a little worried about putting so much of my psyche out there for the tumblr fandom to deem problematic (I have never cared about being deemed problematic, but I'm already oversensitive about Adam).
The Ronan/Adam branch of the OT5 will be a challenge, but BLLB gave me an aesthetic appreciation for their relationship (horror movie twins ♥) and they are my two favorite characters. Noah will also be a challenge, doubly so because he's dealing with the fallout of being magicified. But I'm really looking forward to Blue/Adam, and Adam being a sexy beast, and the three of them banding together over their love for Gansey. And creepy death magic.
